Sitting,
staring out
my window, I
feel
compelled to
share with
you all the
new eyes
through
which I look
at the
world.
Firstly, I
would like
to thank you
all, for
giving of
yourselves
so wholly to
the work of
God, for
letting God
use you as
vessels
through
which His
love for us
radiates, it
truly is
beautiful.
Before
Chrysalis I
was a lost
and
confused,
poor excuse
for a
person. Too
many things
happening to
me all at
once and me
feeling all
alone in the
midst of all
the chaos
clearly
making the
wrong
decisions at
every turn.
When my
mother came
back from
Emmaus this
year, I saw
her
enthusiasm
and
excitement
from her
renewed love
for the Lord
and when she
mentioned
Chrysalis I
didn't pay
much
attention
but said yes
to going
because I
didn't want
to break her
spirit. With
that simple
'yes' long
forgotten,
before I
knew it, I
was signing
forms and
getting
letters and
calls and
then
Chrysalis
Flight #33
was upon me.
Upon arrival
I thought,
oh well,
here comes a
boring
weekend and
told myself
I could come
out of it
all
remaining
untouched,
after all, I
was in
control of
my life, and
I was still
alive right?
Before I
knew it, I
realised
Jesus had
other plans
and instead
he
infiltrated
every part
of my being
and filled
it with
love. I was
surrounded
by
compassion,
understanding,
and above
all His
grace.
This
overwhelmed
me so much
and I didn't
understand,
couldn't
understand,
how after
all my
nonchalance,
doubt in
Him, all my
wrongdoings,
the life I
had been
living, that
He still
loved me.
Still wanted
to hold me
in His arms
and tell me
it was all
going to be
ok. Frankly
I just
thought it
was way too
late for all
to be ok.
However,
throughout
the rest of
the weekend
He showed me
in a
multitude of
ways that
indeed I was
mistaken and
His grace
covered me
too. He
could and
would wipe
all of that
sin away,
put me on
the
righteous
path once
again, and
shower me
with
blessings,
if I would
just do one
simple
thing, Let
go and let
Him. It
wasn't so
easy, but as
I sit here
on the first
of my
'fourth
days', I
realise that
with His
help I can
do it, and
it will only
get easier
as time goes
by.
This
morning,
looking at
my world
with new
eyes it
seemed, I
found so
many
opportunities
to share
God's word,
share God's
love. And as
it impacted
on those I
spoke to, it
had a ripple
effect and
made me
realise how
truly
blessed I
am. I
wonder, were
there such
opportunities
like these
presented to
me before?
If so, I
would never
have
recognised
them if it
weren't for
this past
weekend. I
see now,
with an open
heart, with
Jesus in my
life, with
my goal to
be more
Christ-like,
opportunities
like these
will abound
and I can't
wait to
share God's
grace and
love with
everyone
that I can.
So I'm not a
perfect
person, I
have a past
and my scars
and wounds
are still
here, but
now they're
less painful
than they
were last
week, and I
can see and
feel them
healing,
with every
breath I
take. I am
alive, and
every breath
of mine
belongs to
God, I will
serve him
faithfully
for the rest
of my days.
I'm so
excited!
There was a
reason that
God chose
for me to be
on Flight
#33, the
opportunity
arose this
year, and
not last
year or
next. This
was my time,
and there is
no doubt He
knows what
He is doing.
I am
immensely
grateful to
have had
such a
loving and
supporting
team who
never once
faltered in
showing us
this
unconditional
love we were
told about
so often.
You all
truly are
fine
examples of
the type of
Christian I
aspire to
be, and
although I
know we all
slip and
stumble,
this weekend
your love
for an ugly
caterpillar
like me,
helped a
beautiful
butterfly to
emerge from
what once
was. Thank
you.
Now I let go
and let
God.... As I
fly with
Christ.
Yours in
faith
Nikita
Groenewald
|
In December
2009 I was
diagnosed
with
endometriosis.
I needed
surgery. I
must admit I
thought that
it would be
a little
operation
and problem
solved –
little did I
know that it
would lead
up to a life
threating
situation.
I
had the
first
surgery on
30 July
2010, but
soon after
the surgery
I had
extreme pain
and the
doctor
decided to
operate
again. So in
September
2010 I
returned to
hospital for
minor
surgery. The
doctor
explained
afterwards
that after
the original
surgery my
uterus
collapsed
and had then
started to
grow in an
abnormal
position.
The pain
went away
and I
thought that
the problem
had resolved
itself. Then
in February
2011 the
pain
returned;
the doctor
decided to
take me back
to theatre.
This time
the pain got
worse. After
a few follow
up visits
with the
doctor, he
informed my
mom (not
me!) that he
was going to
do a full
hysterectomy.
I was
devastated
to say the
least, I was
also really
angry. I was
only 29 and
I still
wanted
children. I
was angry at
the doctor
for not
discussing
his plans
with me. I
was
extremely
angry at
God. I spent
a number of
days in a
state of
shock.
After
discussing
it with a
few friends
I decided to
get a second
opinion.
With a heavy
load at work
and
impending
exams I only
managed to
get an
appointment
in July. I
felt a lot
more
comfortable
with the new
doctor and
she assured
me surgery
would be a
last resort
and that she
felt that a
hysterectomy
was a bit
drastic. She
wanted a
sonar before
she could
start
treatment.
The results
were
unsettling –
a mass 2,5
cm diameter
was growing
on my left
ovary. The
doctor did
think that
the mass was
actually
attached to
the right
ovary but
growing
towards the
left.
Surgery
was
scheduled,
again! 13
June 2011
finally
arrived,
exams were
finished and
leave
approved.
Sitting on
the bed in
the ward
waiting to
be admitted
I was
informed
that the
surgery was
cancelled
because the
doctor had
swine flu.
So it was
rescheduled
for 28 June
2011. I had
an extremely
unsettling
feeling the
days leading
up to
surgery. As
the day came
closer I
grew more
restless; I
had a
feeling that
I would not
wake up from
surgery.
Surgery
came and
went. I woke
up to sad
news. My
right ovary
had to be
removed and
the previous
surgery had
done a lot
of damage. I
was
discharged
the same
day. I was
happy to be
in my own
bed, but
little did I
know that
life was
about to
take an
“interesting”
detour…
I woke up
Wednesday
morning in a
lot of pain.
Unable to
get up on my
own I had to
call my mom
to help me
out of bed.
She noticed
that I was
bleeding, as
I got up the
blood ran
down my leg.
Mom rushed
me back to
hospital. I
was
readmitted
and the
doctor
cleaned the
wound. My
blood
pressure was
extremely
low and I
don’t think
I have ever
felt as cold
as I did
then.
Wednesday
evening I
started to
feel better,
but I was
very scared.
I woke up
Thursday
morning and
I couldn’t
breathe – I
vaguely
remember
sms-ing my
mom asking
her to bring
my asthma
inhaler to
the
hospital.
She was
there fairly
early. The
doctor did
her round
early, she
walked into
my room and
immediately
knew she had
to take me
back to
theatre. The
anesthetist
was there in
a heartbeat,
I really
started to
panic when
he took me
to theatre
himself and
he took my
straight
into an
operating
room. Mom
had managed
to get there
before they
took me in.
I woke up on
Saturday
morning.
Three people
were
standing
around my
bed. At
first my
eyes
wouldn’t
focus and I
was
extremely
confused. I
finally
recognized
my mom, the
anesthetist
and the ICU
nurse. Dr
Bennett
explained
that I was
on a
ventilator
and I should
not try and
talk. It was
only later
that I would
find out
what had
happened in
theatre.
During the
surgery on
Tuesday my
small bowel
was
perforated.
None of the
theatre
staff
realized
this; as a
result the
intestinal
fluid
started
leaking into
my abdomen.
The
intestinal
fluid
contains a
large amount
of bacteria
which does
not belong
in the rest
of the body
– the result
was
septicemia.
I won’t go
into too
much detail
about the
surgery, but
while they
were busy I
went into
multiple
organ
failure. My
heart,
lungs,
kidneys and
liver
stopped
functioning.
Dr Bennett
and the
theatre team
managed to
bring me
back four
times.
Twice,
during my
3-week ICU
stay I
almost died
again. The
first time I
stopped
breathing
and the
second time
I had
developed
secondary
septicemia
and
pneumonia.
After a
month in
hospital I
returned
home, but I
was only
home for 10
days when I
was rushed
back to
hospital.
The
pneumonia
had returned
and after a
CT scan the
doctors
realized I
had a
pulmonary
embolism (a
blood clot
in the
lung).
As I look
back over
the past 6
months I am
humbled by
all the
miracles in
my life. I
am alive,
but it is
more than
that. I
haven’t been
able to
return to
work and my
leave has
been unpaid
since July.
Not only was
I left with
my monthly
bills but
also some
scary
medical
bills. God
provided
every time.
I have had
gifts of
money paid
into my
account on a
monthly
basis.
People have
bought
groceries;
doctors were
paid
directly and
even my car
was filled
three times
with petrol.
Most of all
I am
surrounded
by prayer
all the
time. I have
seen God in
action
through His
people here
on earth. I
am amazed.
My
life is
filled with
uncertainty:
I don’t know
if I’ll
still have a
job when the
doctors feel
I am ready
to work
again. I
don’t
understand
why
everything
has happen
but one
thing I know
for certain
– Miracles
still happen
today.
|
